Start with the person, not the label
Every neurodivergent person is different. Two autistic crewmates, or two with ADHD, may need completely different things. You don’t need to know everything about neurodivergence to be a good crewmate. You just need to be willing to ask, and to listen.
The single most useful question is: “Is there anything that would make this easier for you?”
Life on board is unusual. You live, work and eat with the same people for weeks or months, often in a confined space, with little privacy and no easy way to get away. Small misunderstandings can grow quickly. Small kindnesses matter a lot.
Everyday things that help
1. Be clear and specific
Say exactly what you mean, and avoid relying on hints.
Instead of
- ”Keep an eye on things down there."
- "Sort the stores out when you get a chance."
- "You know what I mean."
Try
- "Check the port bilge alarms every hour until 1600."
- "Count and restock the paint locker before we arrive on Thursday."
- "Here’s exactly what I need: …”
See clear communication at sea for more.
2. Write it down
Back up verbal instructions, handovers and changes with something written: a note, a checklist, a whiteboard. It helps everyone, especially after a long watch or when working in a second language.
3. Give notice of change
Unexpected changes to watches, routines, port calls or plans can be very stressful for some people. Tell people as early as you can, and explain why. If plans are uncertain, say so, and say when you’ll know more.
4. Think about the senses
Engine rooms, alarms, fluorescent lighting, cooking smells and constant vibration affect people differently. Simple things help:
- ear defenders or earplugs where it’s safe
- a quieter place to take a break
- not slamming doors near someone’s cabin when they’re off watch
- asking before touching someone, even in a friendly way
5. Respect downtime
Some people recharge by socialising; others need time alone. If a crewmate doesn’t join in every film night, game or barbecue, it doesn’t mean they’re unfriendly. Keep inviting them, without pressure.
6. Focus on the work
Judge people on what they do, not how they come across. Someone who avoids eye contact, fidgets, asks lots of questions or speaks very directly may be giving you their full attention.
When someone is struggling
Everyone has bad days. If a crewmate seems overwhelmed:
Give space
Move to somewhere quieter if you can, and don't crowd them.
Keep it calm and simple
Use a calm voice and short, clear sentences. Don't fire lots of questions.
Don't touch
Unless they ask you to, or it's an emergency.
Check in later
Privately, when things have settled. Ask what helped and what didn't.
If you’re worried about someone’s wellbeing, speak to a senior officer, and see our list of support services.
Stand up for your crewmates
Banter is part of life at sea, but banter that targets someone’s differences isn’t harmless. If you hear crewmates mocking someone’s tics, mannerisms or the way they talk, or saying things like “everyone’s a bit autistic”, say something, or tell someone who can.
A ship where people can be themselves is a safer ship.